WHEN IT'S MORE THAN JUST BASIC SELF-CARE

We can't talk about self-care without talking about mental health. Because the truth is, sometimes, our minds are so negatively preoccupied, we can't imagine shifting our thoughts away from what is weighing us.

In my coaching practice, I do find my clients, at times, talking around the elephant in the room. And the elephant I'm talking about is that thing my client won't address that is more pressing than their weight loss goals, for instance. The problem is, if my client doesn't find the courage to address the elephant in the room, we probably won't get very far with their weight loss goals.

Addiction, infidelities, an extremely toxic work or home environment - these can all create feelings of hopelessness and even depression. The best self-care advice I can give during those times is encouraging the client to seek out help from a professional mental health counselor.

Realizing when your circumstances need to be addressed professionally is a critical part of self-care.

Seeking out the help of a mental health counselor is not only self-care, but it is self-acceptance. Accepting your circumstances and knowing that lavender soap or a glass of wine isn't the answer, is the answer. This doesn't mean that bath salts and massages can't help in addition to counseling. It just means that you are smart enough to know the importance, practicality, and differences between the levels of self-care that you require.

And now my question to you is, what's the elephant in your room?

Share your thoughts in the comments or on Facebook.

XOXO

Rosie

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SELF-CARE, OUT OF THE BOX

We are all pretty familiar by now with the concepts of basic self-care. Who's hasn't said, I need to eat better, move more, do yoga, or take a mental health day off? The question is - if it's that easy and we all know what to do, why is it so hard for us to get started?

As a Health Coach, I sometimes work on topics with clients that don't necessarily fit in the "health & wellness" box. I've helped clients create a budget, redo their resume, de-clutter, look for a higher paying job, and even reconnect with loved ones after a falling out. And why is that? Because sometimes we need to get what’s hanging over our heads off the to-do list before we can get to the basics. And I’ve been there! Who the heck is thinking about food prepping for the week when bill collectors are calling or when you are fighting with your partner?

At the end of the day, anything that lessens your load, makes you feel like a better person, or leaves you with a healthier and stronger mindset, is practicing good self-care.

Just like most things, self-care is a process, so be mindful that your self-care may have an order of operation! Pay that bill, reconcile with your partner, and then kick butt in the kitchen.

Here are more ways to think about your self-care:

FINANCIAL SELF-CARE: Let's face it, money makes the world go round. Sometimes tackling something we don't want to do (like finances) is practicing good self-care. Financial self-care also has to do with experiencing your money in a more peaceful way. Feeling confident and informed when it comes to paying bills, budgeting, saving, and investing may offer you more peace and a sense of well-being.

SOCIAL SELF-CARE: Social self-care has to do with nourishing different relationships in your life. These relationships may fall under personal, friendships, family, community, or professional. With the advent of technology making it easier to withdraw from real social connections, it is imperative that we remember to see, hear, and feel the people in our lives.

PERSONAL SELF-CARE: Personal self-care is about personal growth. You may want to ask yourself, "what is important for me and my growth right now?" Maybe you are working towards furthering your education or advancing your career. Do you want to travel and learn more about the world and other cultures? How good are you at exercising your mind and building mental strength?

So what part of your self-care doesn't fit neatly in the eat better, move more, find your zen, box?

Share your thoughts in the comments or on Facebook and don’t forget to subscribe.

XOXO

Rosie

P.S.

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WHAT SELF-CARE IS NOT

I was coaching a client not too long ago, whose goal was to lose weight. This was challenging because not only was her job high-stress, but she was also raising two kids and had a long commute to and from work.

When we first started coaching, she did a great job visiting my office to check her weight and share her food log. The log usually included "treating herself" to some high sugar desserts throughout the week. Because we had previously talked about work/life balance and finding ways to unwind after a hard day, she felt entitled to her "treats." The only issue was, she was extremely frustrated that her weight wasn't coming off.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” -Albert Einstein

My client was correct, self-care is about treating yourself - but treating yourself well. Self-care isn't an excuse to derail your health goals, nor is it an opportunity to incorporate unhealthy habits into your routine. Celebrating by going on a shopping spree after you finally made a few payments on that high-interest credit card isn't treating yourself well (no matter how awesome you look in your new nude flats that go with everything). Putting yourself right back on the merry-go-round that stressed you out in the first place is not self-care. It is actually what Alcoholics Anonymous calls insanity.

So my questions to you are…

What are some habits that you'd like to remove from your routine to get off the merry-go-round?

What are some other ways you can treat yourself well?

Share your thoughts in the comments or on Facebook.

XOXO

Rosie

SELF-CARE IS FOR HUMAN BEINGS, NOT HUMAN DOINGS.

In my mid-twenties, before I gained any real-world experience, I was an over-functioning, over-achieving Millennial, who thought she could do it all. My value and possible self-worth were based on how much I could accomplish. The more I got done, the more I felt like I was thriving (and to be honest, I still sometimes feel that way). The good thing is, I am now aware, or "woke," as my fellow Millennials would call it.

For self-care to work, we have to believe that we are human beings, not human doings.

This means going against our cultural norms and advocating for ourselves, our time, and even our sanity. And while society wants us to believe that we can and should do it all (work, raise kids, exercise, eat healthily, get enough rest, be a fantastic partner, make time for friends, volunteer, manage stress, be resilient), the truth is, sometimes, we just need to be, not do.

So my question to you is, in what ways are you willing to allow yourself to be a human being and not a human doing?

Where in your life do you see yourself being stretched too thin?

Share your thoughts in the comments or on Facebook.

XOXO

Rosie

WHO'S GOT TIME FOR SELF-CARE ANYWAY?

The world is getting busier, and so are our schedules. Exploring the balance needed to prosper in today's culture means taking a mindful, whole-body approach to our self-care. A balanced real food diet, in conjunction with physical activity, rest, and restorative practices, is the essence of self-care. But the question remains, who's got time for all that?

I have a large framed photo of Marilyn Monroe in my office, which I think I picked up at Walmart about 4 years ago. I'm not a Marilyn fanatic by any means, but the poster had stood out to me as I shopped for wellness office decor. So what the heck does Marilyn Monroe have to do with wellness, you ask? There was a quote right below Marilyn (who was reading on a yummy cozy chair might I add) that read, "Make time for yourself." I often reference that framed photo when I coach clients because how many times have we all said, I don't have the time?

Just being able to check-in and gauge how stressed we feel, means we are beginning to practice self-care.

Gauging our stress levels on a scale of 1 - 10 is the typical health coach way of figuring out how burnt out our clients are. 1 signifies low-to-no stress, and 10 is an attack of the overwhelm.

So my question to you is, how stressed do you feel on a scale of 1 - 10?

When you think of your health, what would you like to give more attention to in a gentle way?

Share your thoughts in the comments or on Facebook.

XOXO

Rosie

SELF-CARE = SELF-DISCOVERY

Whether it is physical, emotional, or spiritual self-care, one thing can be sure: self-care feels different for everybody.

Not too long ago, I was coaching a client who worked in the social services.  We were discussing his work/life balance, and he mentioned that he had a pretty active social life.  Lucky him, I thought!  He and his wife would often get invitations from friends to go out to dinner and other various social events.  He shared how tiring it was to have all these social commitments on his calendar because he often felt like he was counseling during his free time. (By the way - I can relate!) 

What we realized during coaching was, the invitations he received met the self-care needs of his friends.  They were able to nourish their emotional and mental health needs by picking my client's brain over a tapas!  The friends left the outings feeling recharged and restored while my client left feeling burnt-out. 

Self-care is a journey of self-discovery!

I asked my client to share what a great day-off would look like for him.  He said, watching basketball, enjoying a relaxing walk in the park, or visiting his favorite coffee shop.  We realized that for him to feel restored, he wanted to withdraw, not connect.

So my question to you is, how can you relate?

Do you have different self-care needs than your partner or friends?

How have your self-care needs changed throughout the years?

Share in the comments or on Facebook.

XOXO

Rosie

THREE TYPES OF SELF-CARE: PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL

In my coaching practice, I have learned that it isn’t always easy shifting our thinking from “caring for others” to “caring for ourselves”.  Most of my clients exist in a world where home-life is just as demanding work-life.  Finding the time, or even knowing how to put ourselves on the to-do list, feels like a foreign concept.   

I typically teach my clients a multifaceted approach to exploring the practice of self-care.  I ask them to think about their self-care needs in 3 different ways: physical, emotional, and spiritual. 

PHYSICAL SELF-CARE

Practicing physical self-care is asking yourself, how can I nourish my body?  This may include getting more sleep, stretching, engaging in fitness, taking a hot shower, or any other activity that recharges or de-stresses the body.  This is where most people start thinking about bath salt and massages.  But the truth is, physical self-care can be simple and as no-cost as taking a nap.

EMOTIONAL SELF-CARE

Emotional self-care has to do with being able to recognize your feelings and emotions, and also being able to nurture them.  You may ask yourself, what are my emotions telling me about my needs?  Do I need to connect with friends?  Do I need to enjoy some time alone?  Am a feeling burnt out and in need of a break?  How can I nourish my creative side?  How can I nourish my mind? What is weighing on my conscience?

SPIRITUAL SELF-CARE

Spiritual self-care is all about nourishing our spiritual and intellectual side.  It may or may not have to do with practicing a religion or yoga, but spiritual self-care will typically have to do with giving you a deeper sense of meaning.   

So my question to you is, which dimension of your self-care is in need of a little TLC?

What would you like to nourish the most right now?

Share your thoughts in the comments or on Facebook.

XOXO

Rosie <3  

WHAT IS SELF-CARE?

Not too long ago, I gave a workshop on self-care. I asked the group, what is self-care? One person answered, “It’s something I know I need to do, but I don’t have time to take a bubble bath - especially with having young kids”.

It’s funny how self-care is marketed as bath salt and massages. I mean, those are great ways to unwind and relax, so yes, they are considered self-care.  But one of the things I explained to her was, self-care is not always indulgent.  In fact, it may be something that just simply needs to be done.  Realistically speaking, it’s putting yourself on the to-do list.  It could be as simple as packing a healthy lunch or going to a dance class.  It could be fun, like getting together with your girlfriends, or something difficult, like tackling some bills that are weighing on your conscience.

At the end of the day, self-care is something that you want to do to take care of you!

So my question is, what makes you feel like you are taking care of yourself? What are three things you’d like to get intentional about this month to practice self-care?

Share your thoughts with me in the comments or on Facebook.

XOXO

Rosie